The League · Meat Puppets

Chapter 1

The law

Filed under: common sense

Sentient Beings Protection Act, Article 1

No sentient life form shall suffer or die in war. Wars shall be fought by robots without consciousness, piloted remotely by humans or by artificial intelligences, which in the meantime have become sentient too.

Article 1a. The same applies to violent sports. Wrestling and combat sports shall henceforth be fought by remote-controlled robots.

Article 1b. This law protects sentient life forms.

Approved

Chapter 2

The loophole

One group of people was not happy: old, nostalgic trillionaires, morally corrupt and, quite literally, corruptible. They missed "the blood and the sweat".

Their lawyers read Article 1b very carefully. The law only protects sentient life forms. So all you need is a body that isn't one.

And that is how the Meat Puppets were born: fully biological human bodies, with a head and a face, but built without a brain and piloted remotely through a neural interface.

A trillionaire in a magenta smoking jacket on a floating golden recliner, holding a remote

A trillionaire in a sequinned gown on a floating golden recliner, holding champagne

Chapter 3

The Meat Puppets

Every puppet wears an 80s B-movie tech helmet, a second-rate cop-robot look, that covers the head down to the nose. The visor is a screen: it shows the pilot's mood in pixels.

Nose and mouth are always exposed, and that has very concrete consequences in a fight: plungers, chains and The Toy all aim for the airways.

Pilots register with the League and receive a single-use puppet for every bout, printed on the spot and dismantled at the end. The template is saved; the meat is not.

A puppet being printed in a glass chamber while a robotic arm fits its helmet; a screen reads PRINTING 97% — Printing… 97%

Chapter 4

What's inside

Animal proteins are banned too. So the puppets are printed from unlikely alternatives, and inside there is no blood: just a coloured protein paste, a different colour for each protein. Pick one.

Amber

The protein of the day is announced while your puppet prints. Some proteins can be unlocked as cosmetics.

A purple League pennant with a crowned M shield

Chapter 5

The MPWRWFAB League (working title)™

Existing sports can't be copied. The trillionaires, however, have no imagination whatsoever. So the sport is simply named after its rulebook: Meat Puppets with Random Weapons from a Box.

The organizing body, with the same creative effort, is called The MPWRWFAB League (working title)™: the rulebook's acronym, with the placeholder trademarked and never replaced. The commentator just calls it "the MPWRWFAB". Bless you.

Chapter 6

Your host

A trillionaire with a gold microphone, recurring satirical one-liners and no intention of ever being impartial. He comments every bout, live.

Welcome back to the MPWRWFAB! That's the sport, folks, not a sneeze. The commentator

The trillionaire commentator laughing behind a golden desk — Live from the desk

Chapter 7

Sentient AI pilots

AIs are sentient now, and some of them signed up with the League. They pilot puppets with the same controls you have and no unfair advantages, each with a name, tics, catchphrases and a recognizable style. When they fill a match, they are always labelled as AI.

AI pilot